Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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