Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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