Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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