update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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