it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
