Got a toothbrush?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
