Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
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You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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