If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
