So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
