No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
