I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
