I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My ass is underappreciated
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
