So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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