dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
