3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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