I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
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you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.