Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
