I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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