I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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