I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
