I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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