i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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