I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
