I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
