Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
