I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
