so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
