god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
