The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dicks are not precious.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
