i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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