The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
