You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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