guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
