ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize