Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
