summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
