just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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