I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
