apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize