she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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