Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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