Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
