Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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