proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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