Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
