Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
