Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
