so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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