chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need water and some morals
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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