Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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