Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
