I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
