Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They have beer where we have blood.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
