Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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