In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
