Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
