Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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