Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
