hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
