Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
