i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
