Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
