I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
