That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
