I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
